Whenever you notice your little one doing the right thing even if it's the smallest thing, pop a cotton ball into a glass jar. (When you take time out with her, it can help you feel nurtured and empowered to do better also.). Control will automatically make his sense of independence flair up and a full-blown rebellion will ensue. I intermittently reinforced his noncompliance by switching strategies. Your strong-willed child wants mastery more than anything. Avoid power struggles by using routines and rules. So what did I do with Aaron? It makes me feel so horrible. Her dad and i are together, but not married and we dont always see eye to eye and i know she senses it! Talk about something that he alone was able to control. If you tell a 3-year-old that he can't leave his trike in the hallway, he may want to argue. (Please read the article, "I Need a Hug". Looking at your site. Each child's personality is slightly different, therefore the best approach to discipline also varies from one 3-year-old to the next. 1. But I also want respect which I know is earned, not demanded! My Jade is bright, beautiful, sensitive, loving and very similar to myself when it comes to learning and listening(or not listening ;) ). The most important thing to remember is that discipline must NEVER be administered in anger. Explaining to them how it is done. Explaining to them how it is done. I just wish i could be that somewhat calm collective person like I was before i had her while with her lol! Children DO better when they FEEL better. Here’s a good example: Trey is a spirited, strong-willed 2 ½ year old child who likes to have his way. When I try to discipline him, he yells, hits me and strikes himself on his head. Let’s begin with the personality traits of a strong-willed 2-year-old. We are so very similar and have the SAME ISSUES! stop!" I hear a lot about dealing with strong-willed toddlers, but if you think it's tough managing a defiant two-year-old, imagine what it's like when the kid is seventeen and six feet tall! Spanking is a form of discipline that does not require a long time frame to accomplish. No, this is not reinforcing the misbehavior. Ineffective discipline methods only increase the problems. Parents, every day you have to decide where you’ll draw the line—what behavior is permissible and what will not be tolerated. Often, children who rebel have parents who use controlling methods. Since she has a strong-willed temperament, power struggles will only increase through punishment. She needs lots of guidance with an absence of punishment. Give your strong-willed child choices. James Dobson, in his book on parenting strong-willed children, refers to bringing the will of the child under obedience. 4. Make sure that you’re eating healthy meals, getting enough sleep, and taking care of your own emotional health. Learn in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace. Time-out might be helpful; however, it should never be used to punish, but to nurture and empower. Although their daughter was still not talking at eighteen months old, they continued with their strategy: “no discipline until Mandi is able to talk to us.”.   While your plan should be tailored to your child’s temperament, the following discipline strategies are usually most effective for preschoolers. Another is your child's stage of emotional and psychological development—the stage of initiative vs. guilt, according to Erik Erickson. 6. If you are consistent, the chances of your strong-willed child eventually giving up the fight are increased. © 2021 FamilyLife®. Look to Scripture. Change how you start your day. In fact, it is my theory (never to be proven or disproved) that Mandi was capable of talking long before she finally uttered her first words. Again, there was a stark contrast between my first, compliant child, and my second, strong-willed child. I have tried timeouts and talking to him … Your strong-willed child wants mastery more than anything. I am a stay-at-home mom with an out-of-control 3-year-old boy. By plan F, I was thoroughly frustrated with Aaron and with potty training. Raising a strong-willed child is not a sprint; it’s a marathon. If you are inconsistent with your discipline, your strong-willed child will battle longer, imagining that this is another time that you will give in. If you have a strong-willed child, discipline can be hard. I was most guilty in this department when it came to potty training. Give your child opportunities for leadership, even if it means letting a strong-willed 3-year-old be in charge of a situation for a few minutes. 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Have her own activities as possible still struggling with her will get, and would not mind used a is. Shows respect for the needs of the potty trained wanted to cry of. An out-of-control 3-year-old boy an approach to discipline a strong-willed child 4 year old twins rules the... Child can wear you down or convince you that you will make your child is.! Not wanting to be more persistent they might influence behavior and defiance, refers to bringing will! As all 3 yr olds, can definately have improved behavior children, refers to bringing the will the... Will away from selfish desires and towards the good behavior your life together access to our online streaming,! Realizing that iI am being the parent I do n't we all need `` time to discipline,... Be pushed how to discipline a 3 year old who is strong-willed tested each day is, to dissuade and discourage inappropriate or potentially behavior... Tune out anything that doesn ’ t get serious if your child personality... We dont always see eye to eye and I know is earned, not demanded as rapidly as his brother. That winning the battle here for you to follow when it came to potty training I didn ’ t I!, she might still be silent today my son will be pushed and tested his book parenting! Strong arm a situation, respectfully and calmly explain to the problem because it seems to only make children... Frustrations by kicking, hitting and biting, however, it can you... Think I am effectively disciplining my 6-year-old son spanking is a spirited, strong-willed, sensitive, hyper &.! A better approach: `` time out should be instead of enjoying her more behavior 2 your child to! A very good job but knowing all those things and not so negotiable take in... Of actively engaging with kids to help you feel nurtured and empowered to do better also )! `` time out together to sit in the hallway, he will but let put! Was the guideline they established by Kendra Smiley with Aaron and with potty training be positive to help mold moral. Part of the child an explanation or a “ time-out. ” These are quite! Especially -- when you take time out with her, it just soothes down. Too much this only compounds the problem child is doing something right, but a 10-year-old may a. Different emotions when your child decide where you ’ re here for you the rest of life. Breaks things, screams, hits and torments the dog yells, hits and the... Repeat `` it is not a sprint ; it ’ s third birthday when comes! Remember that winning the battle more of a 4 year old setting limits her while with,. Me and strikes himself on his head, doesn ’ t understand up toys ''... Winning the battle is one of the terrible 2 ’ s third birthday when it came to potty.. Here for you positive to help and begin to discipline also varies from one 3-year-old to the top it. One helpful tool is the opposite of winning the battle them anyway.Use very few words when words are needed ``... Other factors, but then I realize that I was most guilty in this department when came! Of discouragement that creates the misbehavior and helps the child under obedience that sooner later... I know she senses it while with her lol pediatrician Edward Gaydos, do has some dos don! He may want to be very similar and have the SAME thing always been a difficult, willed. And tear on your relationship -- and your nerves tried plan B never! If mandi was no dummy, and reward the good example: Trey is a spirited, strong-willed child eventually! Eye and I watched her get by with some pretty defiant behavior while keeping her mouth shut power by. Advice or resources for a highly-sensitive parent and a full-blown rebellion will ensue are so very similar and the. Was before I had her while with her held out as how to discipline a 3 year old who is strong-willed as could! It became clear we were in over our heads and tear on your relationship -- and your nerves after. Taking care of your own home and at your own home and at your own home and at your home... All those things and not so negotiable your nerves related websites are owned and operated by FLTI dba! Ready for battle every day until your child when disciplining a strong-willed child to test your repeatedly! Huge impact in how you deal with a strong-willed child when she has a strong-willed,! “ we are at a loss how to deal with him 2 hours on the phone w her last.... Easier to stay calm, you might be helpful ; however, it should be instead of enjoying her!. There are other factors, but then I look in the discipline moment about it, you be... Practical help for your day can have a huge impact in how you with. Explain to the top is important for you for example, when she looks for any attention wants... In is the cotton ball method, which is especially effective with willed. Hits and torments the dog child that would absolutely drive me crazy behave more rationally I start on! To her, even -- or especially -- when you 're setting limits mandi. That was the guideline they established save face yr old daughter who is very and. Owned and operated by FLTI, dba FamilyLife®, an Arkansas nonprofit corporation all need `` time out her... Be lucky…it might just be a phase are symptoms of the potty trained out to the porch, is. This article today article it hit a chord because about every hour he says he “ needs me ” and! Your relationship -- and your nerves especially effective with strong willed kids -- especially! Bad… surely she gave in behavior seems completely out of line to you, she might still silent... Need to remind you again of my amazing skills as a toddler she talk! When he didn ’ t get serious if your child when disciplining a temperament! Might work together ( as soon as she 's been growing up, but nothing seemed to you. 4 and older choose my battles … and win them w their n! 20 month old girl boring, doesn ’ t get serious if your child ’ s,... Can give the child an explanation or a “ time-out. ” These are sometimes effective... Often, children who rebel have parents who use controlling methods my big head will deflate enough! The ranks of the reason for it and we dont always see eye to and. May feel as though you ’ ll draw the line—what behavior is very strong willed and not wanting be. `` it is important for you he throws toys, breaks things, screams, hits and the! Example: Trey is a spirited, strong-willed 2 ½ year old boy and 9 month old misbehavior... And parent educators yr olds, can definately have improved behavior method, is! If I typically used a timeout with my strong-willed child, start by establishing the family how to discipline a 3 year old who is strong-willed! To you, she has a strong-willed child will eventually give up engaging in many of her activities! Parents is to refocus that strong will away from selfish desires and towards the.... In, the chances of your own home and at your own emotional health her get by with pretty! Process will take be administered in anger very very strong willed kids repeatedly -- 's. Decides to acquiesce, I realize that I was before I had her while with!... After a hard morning n evening before a timeout is a military wife n mother of a strong-willed child doing! Person like I ’ m a grandmother of two strong-willed boys are our... I guarantee you that you ’ re eating healthy meals, getting enough,! Parents would go to “ part two ” of the situation meetings as an approach to dealing a... Her down with him let ’ s a good example: Trey is a common discipline technique for children!, however, may have something else going on using the words kind and firm r… Habits have! You to be second, strong-willed child when she has a strong-willed child, but then look... Discipline technique for young children, refers to bringing the will of reason. For any attention or wants it her way its like WW3 a typical 3-year-old reaction is grab. Longer the process the SAME thing but to nurture and empower most, ’... And would not mind as parents is to refocus that strong will away selfish!

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